euu typedd*: blog

(Sunday, July 25, 2010-)
+12:39 AM]*

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hello world :)

I think its time i start to do abit of finacial thinking.
actually its abit late to do that.
although i started THINKING like years ago, but I hadnt started to do anything.
and...... i should start to personalise my personality once again,
like how i use to be in polytechnic, that would be abit hard to recall.

Since I have been missing out alot of things lately, it left me the only way out.
heard from a friend who say Com.Sci is quite hard. It looks like i will have to find some interest
in that to get my engine going. And, improving on my language skills is what i most needed.
so many many things that i needa do, but i hope to see progress out of it, so that i will be happy.
So that i know that i am on track and the risk i taken have paybacks. :)

its time......

the story ends like this;
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(Thursday, May 20, 2010-)
+9:34 PM]*

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Well I can see spider webs and dust forming up on this blog. It hasnt been a practice to me now to blog unless i have things to rant. and here comes me, guess i have got lots of things on my head now, hopefully as i go on, it wont disappear. This might be a long post.

hmm.., what happend recently....

had receive my NTU letter for the application of another course, its been rejected and none of any course are offered to me. damn! And so i went for an appeal with the help of terence's english language. I guess my english had reach the stage of atrocious. lacking much vocabulary when i need them. I guess i need to do some improvements on that.

Having my combat shoot at nee soon tml, hopefully i can grab the 200 bucks hanging in front of me. Did quite well for IMT but i understand its different when its on real ground. Hopefully my heart don't beat that fast and heart. Just relax and treat it as a normal shooting.

Another thing to share about my peronal opinion. One person's personality is somehow shaped through that person's background and environment. How the person turn out to be may be due to these serveral factors. For say, sometimes i feel that i am quite stinge and not willing to fork out money for presents or things. People may see that i actually have the money just that I am stingy(This is something not to defend myself as i already said its an opinion) But in actual its due to this environment that i am living in, parents not giving me allowance, i have to support myself and its really supporting myself even sometimes i have to buy my own necessities like food etc. I will let you all to calculate, lets say my allowance for army is 800 a month, i have to pay hp bill the bill depending on my usage and my internet bill, my transport fee, sometimes on weekend i travel alot and thus usage is heavy plus some night i took night rider which is a better choice compare to midnight cab. Sometimes seeing when i am sick, see doctor, i will pay for my own expense plus i have to go for my face review once the medicine is finish. And my daily meals definitely i will need to eat, cant possibly tell me because i really need to save money and neglect my health cant be possibe right. Great money management plays an important role in the situation over here. And i still owe my dad the poly sch fees, and i still have to worry for my uni sch fee!!!!

life just sucks when it comes into money issue esp things like this, i am so reluctant to go handle cause my parents dont seems to support me! Was in the car after dinner and i mention this issue out, father dont even have plans to save a sum of money for me to study, i just kinda feels that he wants his own cpf money for his own and not willing to lend me. I dont really have the kind of thoughts that he will sponsor me for studies, seriously. and my mum, worst still, tell me its my own problem ownself go solve lah, i was thinkin i am so desperate at this point of time hoping to get assurance from either one that will try to help me cover and yet this kind of thins come out from her mouth. You are my mum lei, i dont ask you who can i ask?? Even if i have to work, i where can save so much money as i am supporting myself?? like that how much can i save, i dont need to eat meh??

and when aske father to drive to yew tee for us to go to super market to buy some stuffs, after we came out, he keep naggin waste my time, why need to buy this and that, cannot live without this things?? FUCK it, you are a father in a family, you dont give me money or the house is okay, fucking ask you to wait awhile and this kinda things come out from your mouth. I just wonder how much of religious lessons have you listen in, but all didnt practice out, this kinda simple matter which starts from personal temper control and being as a key factor in the family should take care of the fmily but you didnt!! And all you know is to gamble and pyscho me to this kinda things while you totally have no idea what you are doing. I am respecting you is because i live on you for the pass 16 years but after that 16 years i live on my own, i just merely owe you the house water and electricity fees!! "waste of time" this sentence i will always remember! when i grow old and earn money, i dont know what i will do. i can only say karma. hopefully not. Its just disappointing to see i have such parents, real disappointing, sometime when i grow old i wonder whether i can still look back to see that i have a great childhood times a not.

So friends, pls do understand me some times i have budget and money is abit tight. i have no choice, nobody believe me cause i carry branded stuff around, but its because i use to work when i finish my Os and i have enough money to buy it.

freaking no mood, hopefully tml combat shoot is well done. head for bed time.

the story ends like this;
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(Thursday, March 25, 2010-)
+8:41 PM]*

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Suddenly my mood for today changed.
It just happen, just a split seconds and my world falls apart.
went to the salon near my house here as usual when i needed a haircut.
just that today i knew it would be the last time i am going to see my hairstylist.
But when i reached, like usual, i told anyone working in there i needed a hair cut,
normally they would know that i am here for esther, but this time round they broke the news,
i was told that esther had already went back to conceive.

My heart dropped and my mind just went blank.
I was suppose to have a last hair cut with her today but she is gone, so sudden.
somehow i felt that my hair is gonna be in trouble.
feeling down and sad, i decided to gave the salon a chance to try out other hairstylist as esther said some are quite good. but i guess that particular one who help me cut really got me even more sad after looking at my hair when she cut finish.
It just kinda worsen my thoughts for my favourite hairstylist, really kinda miss her haircut skills. haiz, i just dunno why i have this very special kind of emotional connection with esther.
She is just like a second mum to me, who cared more about me, feels good when she cut my hair, she really knows what i wanted and the style that suits me. On the second line, she seems like my counsellor, talking to her about my job just lightens up my bad mood sometimes.

I heard that she went back on last sat as she really needs to rest and is not feeling well with the big stomach. Initially wanted to buy some baby stuff for her outcoming baby, but it just seems that i don't need to buy already. haiz, i really feel kinda sad man, its hard to describe that kind of feeling. just so moodless now. Somemore, the current hairstylist cut my hair until quite short, all the shape is gone, my head now seems like a square shape. OMFG! it really saddens me more. haiz.

I thought i could have a last hai cut from her before she goes off and i oso feel good wishing her and hoping if she can come back to work after giving birth but she just left in aa hurry.
She is gone....... so is my heart.......
now i wonder whether i wanna gave another chance because my hair is not anyone can cut, i once risked it and i found somebody who knows how to cut it and know my requirements but left just like that. haiz...

still pondering over whether i should go back when my hair is long or i just go back to find sani...
I am afraid when i got back, memories start to struck in when it turns out bad... haiz... sadded..

the story ends like this;
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(Wednesday, February 24, 2010-)
+10:24 AM]*

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the day before yesterday, went back to find my hairstylist, esther again for some hair therapy plus some chit-chat session. man, she is so going to leave the salon soon, it just feels kinda sad. i think i can only have another session with her before she goes back to her homeland to take a break from work. i guess i really treat her like my second mum, kinda take care of me not just my hair but my health too hearing that i was sick. Maybe it just seems normal for other ppl but i just kinda feel i have a strong attraction to her care and concern.

Anyways, down i am like half-fcuked sick which started from a sore throat and as usual escalated and complicated by flu comin in and phlegms building up. hope my immune system can fight it off w/o me visiting the doc the second time.

Sometime I am thinking, talking can really be a skill that is quite poisonous to the heart, soul and the brain. words can really play a part in distrupting the normal functionality. I know of someone who is good at talking and every sentence every single words contain spikes and hidden meanings. Is good at counter-talking back and leave no chance for one to step down the stage through back stairs. Laugh in quite an evil way even just in a small game. Must that really talk in the manner? cannot do some good deed by saving the breath? i guess not believing in karma is the thinking that make it continuously using that sharp tongue. Well, it will hit, someday, its just a matter of time, and waiting to se that happen.

the story ends like this;
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(Wednesday, February 17, 2010-)
+10:36 PM]*

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Atthe blink of an eye, CNY year already went pass for 3 days.

eve: stayed at home to do some last min cleaning before heading out to have a reunion dinner with parents + some good buddies. At night shou deng till 4am 5. super tired.

CNT day 1: went visiting for the entire day, but discover something about one of my relatives my yi zhang, actually from last year, exactly near CNY something happen to him, till that CNY day 1 i saw him, he looks abit weird and slow and there are cut lining on his head. when ask by my mum, my ah yi didnt wanna say anything. until my mum cfm there is something wrong with him. my yi zhang actually is quite a legend in the manufacturing world, and when his unreasonable disappearance since last year for like a few months, people of the manufacturing world were asking about his location. Indeed a legend whom people will notice his presence. After much prompting my ah yi finally told us, i sat quietly at a corner of the table to understand the whole situation. His head actually grows a lump, and it causes him to undergo confusion. heard the description of how my ah yi take care of him when his mind start to go abnormal, it just really bring my tears gushing out. my yi zhang when he used to talk to me in a kind of loud and arrogant full of energy to conquer the world but is now so different. he actually undergoes alot of operation, and i heard my ah yi while saying, strating weeping. oh man, once again, i got hit right in the heart, i turned my head away, dont wanna really look at my ah yi if not i will end up like her. holding back my tears i contune to listen to her stories, everytime when my ah yi told him what his operation is about he didnt even say a word but just nod his head being ready. and when everytime my yi zhang was pushed into the operation room, my ah yi str8 away squat down and......... But the saddest thing is, one of his son the younger one, is overseas working and actually have intention to explore out of sg and has been out of sg for years. and the eldest son, whom i heard everytime gave yi zhang lots of trouble by leaving all the bad debts for him to settle and he just left qiping his ass clean. I can say much as this is their family matter but i just wichi to comment on them, it really is unfillial. parents bring them up in a good environment and in the end they just abandon them leavin gthem both caring for each other. what i eard the lump in my yi zhang's head is cause by thinking too much?? cause my the eldest son. cant believe my cousin actually does this. i wonder is it really spolt from young that is why the attitude turns out to be in this way. somehow poor people like me will tend to cherish everything but cannot enjoy life. haiz, anyway, the story is way to long, i just hope that yi zhang gets healthy as time goes by and hope my cousins think it through their head. Sometime i would really like to do abit of something for them like asking out for lunch, as they doted me when i was young and i will never forget this important thing.

CNY day 2: wearing green wasting time.

CNY day 3: super busy day after dismounting, whole day out.

anyway, luck was really just normal, actually went to the headquarter, more and more of my friends bringing a partner. This really makes me to start thinking but definitely tiger year love luck does not sound as good but will try my best i guess.

the story ends like this;
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(Tuesday, February 09, 2010-)
+7:40 PM]*

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Gloomy bear picture just describes how i am feeling when again somebody say about my hair.

well, these few days sure is quite a few interesting things happen.
firstly, talking about my second hair stylist who is a female that i found recently that
she can cut my hair quite well to my expectation. Somemore the place she working is so near my house, its just inside yew tee point, the Zenn salon. Remember the first time i went in and she helped me cut my hair, and i was very satisfy. For the pass few times, i didnt really book appointment with Sani, my first hair stylist, to cut my hair as his schedule sometimes quite pack and it takes time for me to travel to find him for a hair cut. So for the pass few times, i have been looking for esther, my second hair stylist's name, to cut my hair. she did a great job and give another new short hair style for me but however, it just merely pass the standards of my working place or perhaps fail. but i kind like the style that she gave me. Superior's has been commenting on my hair, some specs are also doing it. get really fed up some time. The standards to short are there just that the back upper part is abit longer but below still having the slope and sides are still short. Anyways back to the main thing is that, last few session esther told me that she will be going back to msia to prepare for her birth of another child. At that moment i kind of felt i have a emotional connection with her. And she also told me that most prolly she will not be coming back to work although the company did ask her to come back. oh man, my heart kinda dropped. I think through a few sessions when she cut my hair while talking to her makes me have a kind of motherly feeling. I wonder she treats all her customer that way but definitely for sure i know to me she is not a just a hair stylist and customer, is those kind of friendly relationship. I just found a good hair stylist and not loong she is gonna leave. I have thought of buying some gift for that baby as a appreciation for her mummy's good servicing of my hair. I really feel like doing it bt wonder will it be abit over the limit. haha. haiz~~

last weekend while i was out in town with chau chua, ceed and bobo was walking down the town looking for things to shop but to no avail, guess i have given up hope on CNY clothes liao. Anyways, something interesting happen in cine's toilet. While all of us walking into the toilet and i am the second person walking behind chau chau and the rest is behind me, saw this girl who just walked out from the female toilet looking stunned, is walking in the direction of the male toilet, it was like a T-junction where the male and female toilets facing each other and the exit is to their side. i stood awhile at the exit door looking at the girl thinking what is she going to do in the male toilet and suddenly she turn as if she really forgets the way out and instead head towards the male toilet. she seems to be quite embrassed as i was looking at her and kinda smile it off at her. And she faster change her direction and walk with her head down feeling shy, and as i was about to enter the gents i take a last look at her again and before she go off, she turn back at look at me. i gave her a teasing smile and i walked into the gents. haha, she was not bad looking, blur and cute. haha the way her face expressed the embrassement is cute. ahh~~ what a situation.

CNY is coming soon but i will be spending day2 in that freaking place.

the story ends like this;
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(Thursday, February 04, 2010-)
+11:28 AM]*

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How short is short, how long is long??
I always keep whining abt this, as this really concerns me alot.
freak.Hell.
Do i really do not know how to gauge it, or is their standard to high??
Everytime it revolves around hair issue.
Damn.
I have been spending money on cutting hair due to a short period of growth
and they consider it as "LONG". OMG!!
really driving me crazy soon, thats one thing i so hate abt that place which makes me
even more not wanting to distrupt and just use the leave so that i serve finish the whole term
and FUCK IT! off i go out that sucky place.
Is there no leeway to leave abit of hair for some good-looking purpose??
damn again.
They fucking think i very rich, every 2 weeks go cut hair.
fucking fed up........

the story ends like this;
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